Those who know me in my personal life know that I have been trying get off the day-to-day public activist treadmill for a long time now, and this summer, when the heat was 100 degrees at the Beach at the same time the bottom fell out of a lot of my other living conditions (stuck on the street not eating properly, with the intense heat)…it became more critical that I somehow hop off the treadmill that I have been having a hard time hopping off (due to all the daily feedback from random strangers on the street).
And that was the same time the signature petitions were released for the CD 2 City Council election. People who were treated to early morning, midday, evening and late night Zuma Dogg rants over my deteriorating conditions in the heat felt the LAST thing I needed to do was take on the added pressure of gather signatures.
AND THEY WERE RIGHT. It was the LAST thing I needed, but I couldn’t NOT go through with it. So I had to push, even harder, and I was never worse.
But it all worked out in the end, because the spotlight of being a candidate forces me to try and pretend I am professional and I stopped blogging personal crisis posts about my situation on my blog and went into “candidate” mode.
And only through the help and support of a few community members, I was able to maintain the “candidate persona” and maintain the haircut and suit and gave the people the “toned down” Zuma as “Dave” and performed on radio and in the forums and on TV 35 at the council meetings as people expected in the way people wanted me to.
After three years of intense activity, taking on way too much energy from the outside community and expending way too much energy, it’s finally FEELS like it has run it’s course as so many of my friends have been hoping for, and it’s only been two meetings away, but it FEELS different this time, so I hope it continues.
So people are wondering why I did so much blogging today, since I retired from day to day activist duties.
Now, I am just blogging as a private citizen, not a public advocate trying to best represent the consensus voice of the community. I might have felt ONE way, personally, but I was “Voice of the Pueblo,” so I was trying to represent a consensus voice. So there are things I was saying that I wouldn’t be saying as a private citizen. (Wasn’t necessarily giving MY opinion or information.) And I think that may be reflected in my blogging today.
I am not taking on the role of being the public ticker tape for fraud, waste and abuse and take on the challenge of alerting the masses via the media.
So now, some people may be finding out what I REALLY think about any specific issue and what I find to be most important.
AND, retiring from day-to-day activist duties also means (besides day-to-day council meeting attendance), I am not SEEKING OUT community issues to represent; I am not taking phone calls, or reading emails on issues people want me to look into or take on as an issue for the blog and comments and overall “heat” that I bring when I get passionate and worked up over the community injustices.
I will still be pointing out things that miff me about council, perhaps or blog about city departments, but it will be stuff that catches my attention in my regular day, but won’t be “fighting” for or blogging about stuff other people bring to my attention, because I don’t want everything brought to my attention. (So to compare it to a rock group, it’s like a member of the Eagles going solo…it still sounds like the Eagles, but a little different. Don Henley Glenn Frey and Joe Walsh solo stuff still sounds like and fits in at Eagles concerts.)
That has been the problem. People have been jamming me with every negative problem in the city and due to my nature, it keeps me cranky and constantly “on” in Zuma Dogg “HULK” mode, round the clock, seven days a week, Holidays and Sundays included.
So if nothing else, now Zuma Dogg is just like everyone else who wakes up everyday, tries to live their life, and is interested in the city and has opinions on the way things are going, just like everyone else.
But now I’m just a mere mortal, just like everyone else. It feels great! The community fought for three years to take the Zuma Dogg beast and strip it away and have Dave come to the forefront and just drop the shtick.
Unfortunately, to those who would like to see me continue at the council meetings, that was also the fuel that fired the machine. And now the fire has been extinguished and Dave can emerge from the smoke and ashes and try to carry on. That may be bad news to some people, but it’s the best news in three years and five months for me.
And some have noted my blogging has been more “off the hook” (more of it) than ever. That’s because a lot of the time and energy I was spending with others and running all over the place and attending meetings was taking time and energy (draining me), so for now, the freedom has allowed my creative energy to flourish in another direction.
I never said I was walking away from Zuma Dogg and said that I never could. But I HAVE walked away from day-to-day activism. And there IS a difference and hopefully the obsessed weirdos who sit around and comment on this stuff understand the difference. Let’s hope it stays this way.